God’s Leaders: Not quick-tempered

The Book of Titus: A Sound Church

Article 3: God’s Leaders – Part 2

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Not quick-tempered

Getting back to the point, a leader is not to be self-willed and next on the list: not quick-tempered. They’re not the kind of person who flares up easily, and they can manage their emotions.

If someone can’t control their emotions, it’s quite intimidating. Who would want to approach them, work with them or disagree with them? Imagine you’re a parent or married. If you’re like that, your spouse and children might be hesitant to come to you because they’re not sure how you’ll react.

Such a person has a blind spot. They don’t realise that people are reluctant to approach them. As a result, legitimate concerns or opposing views go unspoken because people feel intimidated and think: “I don’t know if it’s worth getting yelled at.”

In short, this person is not domineering and he’s not prone to anger, as mentioned in verse 6: “not self-willed, not quick-tempered.”

Not given to wine, not violent

The next pair he provides in Vers 7 are: he’s not given to wine and he is not violent.

It’s intriguing how Paul notes that even the philosophers in Crete observed that Cretans tended to be indulgent in these ways – evil beasts, lazy gluttons. That’s the kind of reputation they had.

This person can’t hang around at the marina all day, playing cards, drinking heavily, and telling fish stories that probably aren’t even true. It’s a laid-back island life, and I’ve seen it first hand in the Mediterranean.

Obviously, they cannot all be Bible college graduates. Instead, this man is all about self-control. Paul insists that he’s not violent. You might ask, why does Paul need to mention this? What kind of people does Titus work with?

Literally, he’s not a striker. It’s surprising that Paul has to point this out. Of course, in reality, you don’t want someone who treats the church like an old-school teacher, smacking kids with a ruler.

But think about it: beyond physical violence, it’s about not being a violent person in any way. Not to his wife, his kids, or anyone else. That goes without saying. If you have someone mistreating their family, there’s no place for them in a leadership role. I hope we all understand that, right?

But let’s go deeper. It’s not just about physical violence. Verbal violence also counts. You may come across situations where someone says, “He hasn’t hit me, at least not yet.” But you can see him shouting, and you begin to wonder when the day will come. That’s verbal violence, and Paul says it’s unacceptable.

We definitely don’t want a man in the church who uses verbal violence against people. No one should worry that he might get physical and lash out.

And remember, it’s not just physical blows that hurt. We’ve all heard “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” It’s a nice saying, but it’s not true. Words do hurt – physically, verbally and even emotionally. This guy isn’t gaslighting people, trying to make them question their reality and their sanity.

Let’s go further. He’s not spiritually abusive. He doesn’t manipulate people with his position. This is something Paul emphasizes multiple times—saying a servant of the Lord should not be quarrelsome. This guy is not a fighter; he doesn’t get energized by a fight. Instead, he brings peace.

Not greedy for money

And then the next two in Verse 7: not greedy for money, but hospitable

In other words, he’s not someone who seeks dishonest gain, exploiting others for his financial benefit. I wish I could say our churches today are free from this issue, but that’s not the case, is it? How many times have we seen scandals where someone acted sketchy with money? So Paul is clear: Ensure that he doesn’t enrich himself by taking advantage of others. If he’s not trustworthy with finances, how can he lead?

This means he won’t exploit people. Let’s think about this in today’s terms. Often, you’ll find businessmen on church elder boards. There’s nothing wrong with that. But what if they’re corrupt? What if they cheat or exploit people in their business? It’s a temptation in the business world, isn’t it?

However, it’s not limited to business. Even successful and godly businessmen can make excellent elders. But anyone can exploit others; it just takes one misguided person.

Consider the culture Paul was addressing. They loved bargaining, like when we go to Turkey. I’d say, “I’ll buy that,” and then my wife tells me, “He wants to bargain.” I’d reply, “No, I’ll just pay that.” But she insists, “The price is not right. He wants to bargain.” Let’s connect this to the bible text. An Elder is not like that. He’s not unfair in his dealings.

Hospitable

Now, we’re coming to the more positive aspects: “He’s hospitable.” This means he reflects the heart of God, opening his home to others. In the context of that time, it came with more risks and interruptions. Just as God is the ultimate host, this man embodies hospitality. People aren’t taking advantage of him, but he’s practicing genuine hospitality. His home belongs to God, and God is hospitable.

Two individuals immediately come to mind as exemplifying this quality. Our dear friends David and Inga-Lill, who have also been mentors to me, intentionally purchased a house in Santa Barbara with an entire loft upstairs. It’s a free, come-as-you-are bed and breakfast. That’s true hospitality. They’re constantly welcoming missionaries and people for various reasons. In fact, when my family was technically without a home before moving here, we spent a significant amount of time staying with them. That’s hospitality.

Another example is Brian and Cheryl at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, where Brian pastors. I recall attending a pastor’s conference there. Brian extended an invitation: “Come here, and if you can’t find a place to stay, just stay with us.” I thought, “Alright, sounds good.” Two pastors encountered a mix-up with their hotel reservation, so they also joined us, which meant three of us were there. I ended up sleeping on the couch in the dog’s usual spot, but at least I had a place to stay.

In the morning, someone was already up for coffee at 6 AM, disrupting my sleep and my nerves. Dave, who oversees a Bible College in New England, came down and wondered where this new person came from. Raphael from Mallorca also arrived, accompanied by his young son. I started wondering how many people this house could accommodate. Then, another pastor showed up with his assistant at 7:30 AM, simply walking in the door. I thought, “This is chaos. This is not cool.” But that’s the essence of hospitality. It’s saying, “You’re welcome in my home. I’m open and transparent. Let’s share life together.”

Go to next page: God’s Leaders – Lover of what is good